Marauder's Plan 3,346
by WitchOfDarkness13
Summary: James gets to sing and Sirius has a sniper rifle. All because Remus had an idea. AU. Oneshot.


**AN/ This is the result of a random thought while at work. Enjoy.**

"With the way this war is going, we're all going to end up dead," Remus says, "And I'm not sure about you two, but I'd really like to live."

Sirius rolls his eyes, "I think we all do Moony, but we have the ever so minor problem of a psychotic Dark Lord who wants to kill everyone in his path. Though, that should be easily dealt with right? One good shot to the head and we're in the free and clear.

James, sensing the sarcasm from his dark haired friend, only rolls his eyes. But Remus tilts his head to the side. His eyes dart around in tiny circles, not looking at anything, but seeing everything.

"Damn...Sirius you are brilliant," Remus mutters.

"Of course I am, but what about this time?"

"A shot to the head. Why has no one tried to shoot Voldemort in the head? He may be powerful, but he's still human."

"Probably," Sirius says, speaking as though confronting a small child, "Because a shield charm can typically protect against bullets, and no one can get close enough to hold it to his skull."

Remus waves a hand, casting away the problem, "You don't need to get that close to him. Men, I have an idea."

And there was something about the twinkle in Remus's eye that made the black haired Marauders grin.

~MWPP~MWPP~MWPP~

James smiles as he walks down Diagon Alley. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the people are scurrying around the alley looking around as though something planned on jumping out at them and calling "BOO". Though, if James was perfectly honest, something would be happening, just not what they were expecting.

"James wait!"

Turning, James allows Remus to catch up before speaking, "Remmy! I wasn't expecting you!"

"Well, things are ahead of schedule at work."

"Excellent! Does the other party know of the change in time?"

"Yes, their boss should be arriving very shortly."

"And the members ready to seal the deal are in place?"

"Naturally. I was just going to be the welcoming party, feel like joining?"

"Do I have another choice?"

"No."

"Didn't think so."

Remus smiles as the crack of apperition sounds, noting that there were only five people who showed up. Placing his hands in his pockets, Remus whistles a little tune as he waits, knowing it will only be a few moments for him and James to be noticed.

Sure enough, Voldemort almost immediatly sees the two Marauders.

"James Potter and Remus Lupin," Voldemort says, "I am surprised that you have not run from me."

James shrugs, "Why would we? Unless you haven't showered in a while."

"Your humor amuses me greatly Potter. I would love for you to join my side, along with your friend Lupin of course. Two powerful wizards such as yourselves would flourish amongst my ranks."

Remus blinks and turns to James, "His ranks? I think you're right James, he forgets to bathe frequently."

Voldemort's eyes narrow, but the Marauders aren't done.

"That's his perogative I guess..."

"Oooh, perogative, Jamesie is learning new words I see."

"Shut up Remus. As I was saying, I don't think I would join." James turns back to Voldemort, "See, I don't like your uniforms. Black was so last year. And masks? They're tacky anywhere that isn't a masquerade party."

Remus nods, "I agree, though would like to mention that it's rather frightening you know so much about fashion."

"Blame Lily. And my mother," James says. A moment later his eyes light up and he turns to Voldemort, "Oh! Can I get them to give you a make over? Honestly, a good Dark Lord cannot reign and not look good."

"I'd say yes if I were you. Mrs. Potter gives excellent make overs. You should see what she did for one of the neighbor girls," Remus says.

Both men know that the only reason they haven't been killed yet is that Voldemort is entirely too shocked with their behavior to decide what to do. The slight twitching at his eye though tells them that it is time to wrap it all up and finally end it.

"Well, if you won't take this offer, then allow us to sing-"

"We're quite good actually-"

"Had a nice quartet when we were at Hogwarts-"

"Besides it won't take long."

Voldemort finally gives a smile, "You may sing, as it will be the last thing you do."

The Marauders grin, "Excellent. Anything in particular you'd like?"

Voldemort smiles more, "Something...patriotic."

"Very well then! 'God Save the Queen' it is!"

Remus and James clear their throats before starting to sing.

"God save our gracious Queen!"

One of the Death Eaters screams and grabs their shoulder before disappearing with a small 'pop!'.

"Long live our noble Queen!"

The same thing happens to another Death Eater. Voldemort is looking around furiously.

"What is happening?" he asks, red eyes flashing.

"God save the Queen!"

Another Death Eater is wounded and is taken away.

"Send her victorious,"

Voldemort tries to apperate away, but notices that there are extremely strong anti-apparition wards up.

"Happy and glorious,"

His fourth, and last Death Eater with him, grabs his shoulder with a cry of pain and disappears with a 'pop!'.

"Long to reign over us,"

Voldemort's eyes narrow as he tries to figure out what is going on. A moment later, they've widened and a hole appears in the middle of his head.

From his vantage point on the roof of one of the tall muggle buildings nearby, Sirius gives a small grin as he watches Voldemort fall to the ground through his scope.

"God save the Queen," Sirius says.

_Mischief Managed_


End file.
